Let's Forget This Day
Jun. 2nd, 2008 | 04:13 pm
music: Alina Orlova, "Lovesong"
I went downtown this morning for my informational meeting with the curator of the Museum of Contemporary Craft. Pumped up for the first day of my internship, I eagerly beaverly ran up the stairs to the administrative offices.
Where my curator was not to be found.
Because she was at home.
Finishing a book.
Having forgotten about me, even though she was extolling my virtues to my art history professors only two weeks ago.
I was quite heartbroken and decided to cheer myself up with Indian food and a trip to American Apparel. I ended up not eating Indian but a delicious make-it-yourself salad. I did, however, step foot in AA for the first time. Even though I hid from the sales associates (because I've still got a knapsack of body image issues), I happily purchased two dresses and a skirt with a heap of awkward interaction. My day only got better when I saw an elderly lady wearing a purple coat.
What the heck, I thought. I'm gonna go see Sex and the City alone. But the movie theater didn't open for another two hours. Foiled again! Heartbroken again!
I finally found the bus I needed to take back home only to realize it was going in the wrong direction. What the heck, I thought. It'll circle around eventually. I realized the bus was going down Powell St. for some strange reason, about a half hour walk away from my apartment. I was sure it was the correct bus, the number 9, which I had only taken this morning from outside my apartment. Too defeated and weary of the spirit to try to understand what was going on, I fell asleep. Normally, I would have gotten off as soon as something strange like this was happening and walked the 30 minutes to my house. But I was exhausted and lazy.
I woke up to find the bus pulling into a garage with everyone hopping off to transfer to another number 9 bus. Where were we? Well, my apartment is on Broadway and 22nd and we were on Powell and...92nd?! I really felt like crying, I was so tired. Instead, I walked around aimlessly for half an hour, waited for the bus going in the opposite direction to come, hopped two buses and walked the last 15 minutes home. Turns out, there are actually two number 9 buses that go on different routes.
I feel as though this was karmic retribution. Yesterday at 4:30 PM Matt texted me for the first time in three weeks: "Sex?" No "Hey so I know you ended this and I never acknowledged that so let me take this opportunity to...blah blah" or "Ya know, we should talk before we end up RIGHT BACK WHERE WE STARTED" texts. Just "Sex?" Pretty ballsy and arrogant. I read it right before I went to bed at 4:30 AM and laughed myself to sleep. No, seriously. I lay in bed and laughed for a good five minutes. Then dozed off. Then woke up and chuckled until I slept again. I had no intention of responding.
However, when I got home today, I immediately headed straight for my cell phone and texted him "You've got to be kidding me." It made me feel so much better, even if it was a bit petty to take my anger at today out on him.
But on the plus side, I feel healthy and otherwise very happy. Jobless still, but happy.
Where my curator was not to be found.
Because she was at home.
Finishing a book.
Having forgotten about me, even though she was extolling my virtues to my art history professors only two weeks ago.
I was quite heartbroken and decided to cheer myself up with Indian food and a trip to American Apparel. I ended up not eating Indian but a delicious make-it-yourself salad. I did, however, step foot in AA for the first time. Even though I hid from the sales associates (because I've still got a knapsack of body image issues), I happily purchased two dresses and a skirt with a heap of awkward interaction. My day only got better when I saw an elderly lady wearing a purple coat.
What the heck, I thought. I'm gonna go see Sex and the City alone. But the movie theater didn't open for another two hours. Foiled again! Heartbroken again!
I finally found the bus I needed to take back home only to realize it was going in the wrong direction. What the heck, I thought. It'll circle around eventually. I realized the bus was going down Powell St. for some strange reason, about a half hour walk away from my apartment. I was sure it was the correct bus, the number 9, which I had only taken this morning from outside my apartment. Too defeated and weary of the spirit to try to understand what was going on, I fell asleep. Normally, I would have gotten off as soon as something strange like this was happening and walked the 30 minutes to my house. But I was exhausted and lazy.
I woke up to find the bus pulling into a garage with everyone hopping off to transfer to another number 9 bus. Where were we? Well, my apartment is on Broadway and 22nd and we were on Powell and...92nd?! I really felt like crying, I was so tired. Instead, I walked around aimlessly for half an hour, waited for the bus going in the opposite direction to come, hopped two buses and walked the last 15 minutes home. Turns out, there are actually two number 9 buses that go on different routes.
I feel as though this was karmic retribution. Yesterday at 4:30 PM Matt texted me for the first time in three weeks: "Sex?" No "Hey so I know you ended this and I never acknowledged that so let me take this opportunity to...blah blah" or "Ya know, we should talk before we end up RIGHT BACK WHERE WE STARTED" texts. Just "Sex?" Pretty ballsy and arrogant. I read it right before I went to bed at 4:30 AM and laughed myself to sleep. No, seriously. I lay in bed and laughed for a good five minutes. Then dozed off. Then woke up and chuckled until I slept again. I had no intention of responding.
However, when I got home today, I immediately headed straight for my cell phone and texted him "You've got to be kidding me." It made me feel so much better, even if it was a bit petty to take my anger at today out on him.
But on the plus side, I feel healthy and otherwise very happy. Jobless still, but happy.
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Week Twelve Weigh-In and Measurements: 85 Days
May. 29th, 2008 | 01:09 pm
music: Animal Collective, "Banshee Beat"
Height: 5'1"
SW: 131.5
CW: 125
Highest: 155
Lowest: ~110
STG: 110
LTG: 100
Pounds Lost These Weeks: -.5
So I actually lost half a pound in the last five weeks! Color me surprised.
Bust:36.75" 36.5"
Waist:29.75" 29.25" 29"
Hips:37" 36" 35.75"
Neck:13.5" 13"
Left Thigh (widest): 21.5"
Right Thigh (widest): 21.5"
Left Arm (below armpit):12" 11.5"
Right Arm (below armpit):12" 11.75"
Across the bellybutton:35" 33.5"
TOTAL INCHES LOST: 5
I lost in the bust, which is good news. I hope I won't always be 5'1" and size C, ergh. Otherwise, I lost no inches anywhere else. But my spirits are high because just yesterday I was shuffling through my sewing books and found Vogue Sewing with my measurements (1.5 years ago?) scrawled in the margin:
Bust: 38
Waist: 31
Hips: 37
So I've definitely made progress since then. And as an interesting note, Vogue Sewing says that on the ideal figure, the bust and hips measure about the same and the waist is approximately 10" smaller. Hm, methinks the book is either outdated (c. 2006!) or kidding itself to call the hourglass shape the "ideal" figure of our generation.
SW: 131.5
CW: 125
Highest: 155
Lowest: ~110
STG: 110
LTG: 100
Pounds Lost These Weeks: -.5
So I actually lost half a pound in the last five weeks! Color me surprised.
Bust:
Waist:
Hips:
Neck:
Left Thigh (widest): 21.5"
Right Thigh (widest): 21.5"
Left Arm (below armpit):
Right Arm (below armpit):
Across the bellybutton:
TOTAL INCHES LOST: 5
I lost in the bust, which is good news. I hope I won't always be 5'1" and size C, ergh. Otherwise, I lost no inches anywhere else. But my spirits are high because just yesterday I was shuffling through my sewing books and found Vogue Sewing with my measurements (1.5 years ago?) scrawled in the margin:
Bust: 38
Waist: 31
Hips: 37
So I've definitely made progress since then. And as an interesting note, Vogue Sewing says that on the ideal figure, the bust and hips measure about the same and the waist is approximately 10" smaller. Hm, methinks the book is either outdated (c. 2006!) or kidding itself to call the hourglass shape the "ideal" figure of our generation.
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Summer Thus Far
May. 28th, 2008 | 10:33 pm
music: M. Ward, "Chinese Translation"
After a grueling three weeks of research projects, papers, exams and finals, I finally graduated from college and moved to my new apartment. My parents came up to see me walk and we spent three days eating tons of disgustingly unhealthy food (that literally made me sick) while they tried to buy me expensive clothes (which I didn't accept, mostly because they were too expensive).
They adorably assured me that I had their support in whatever future endeavors I will embark upon and, of course, I had the requisite fight with my mother. They also talked about their death and life insurance policy a lot--pretty disturbing. My dad thought it was funny to cock his head to the side, stick out his tongue and feign a corpse-like demeanor. However, it was altogether a wonderful time and I was able to dissuade them from buying me a $1500 pearl necklace as a graduation/sentimental gift. Instead, they decided to give me $300 in cash to spend on something that would last a long time, like a quality piece of designer clothing. (I also found $1000 tucked away in my bag after they left. That's definitely going in the bank for rent. My parents drive me crazy, the way they try to make me spend money!) But really, they're being so generous to me. I used to have to beg for my allowance when I was 16 but at 22, it seems they think I shouldn't be as thrifty as I was then.
And just a few days ago my mother told me she'd be sending me $500 for a new wardrobe and asked me not to save the money, put it in my retirement fund or spend it on secondhand clothes. Hahaha, she knows me too well. I'll keep the money until at least the end of summer anyway, since what's the point in buying clothes right now if I'm planning to lose more weight?
Speaking of which, I've just gotten back into my healthy habits. Working out is twice as hard as it was before I went on my school-is-more-important break and I keep getting horrible cravings for sugar. I'll weigh myself tomorrow for the first time in, uh, five weeks. I hope I didn't do too much damage (oh geez).
In other news, my best friends moved away, Anika's traveling in New York with her girlfriend taking camera pictures of art and sending them to me to make me jealous (successful), Masha's visiting relatives in Chicago and asking me what she needs to see at the Art Institute of Chicago and Katarina's been leaving me lots of text messages about going clubbing and barhopping (I didn't even know we were friends).
Oh, and I ended it with Matt (by text message, whoops). It's a long story with lots of drama (on my end, anyway) that I actually typed out but am now too embarrassed to post, mainly because it's obvious I was wasting time typing it out. Suffices to say, I will not be getting involved in any casual sex/open "relationship" again. The only good things that came out of it were kinky sex and the ironic “Why the hell won’t you be with me I just made you this mixtape” mixtape Anika made for me after it was over. All I want now is a summer romance.
EDIT: I changed my LJ layout to a Portland skyline! They have my absolute favorite building in the city drawn in (the pink tall one on the left side of Mt. Hood) that is actually pink, especially when the sun sets, they thankfully left out the famously postmodern and UGLY Michael Graves building and, cleverly, there's a rose on the ride side of the banner (Portland is the city of roses).
They adorably assured me that I had their support in whatever future endeavors I will embark upon and, of course, I had the requisite fight with my mother. They also talked about their death and life insurance policy a lot--pretty disturbing. My dad thought it was funny to cock his head to the side, stick out his tongue and feign a corpse-like demeanor. However, it was altogether a wonderful time and I was able to dissuade them from buying me a $1500 pearl necklace as a graduation/sentimental gift. Instead, they decided to give me $300 in cash to spend on something that would last a long time, like a quality piece of designer clothing. (I also found $1000 tucked away in my bag after they left. That's definitely going in the bank for rent. My parents drive me crazy, the way they try to make me spend money!) But really, they're being so generous to me. I used to have to beg for my allowance when I was 16 but at 22, it seems they think I shouldn't be as thrifty as I was then.
And just a few days ago my mother told me she'd be sending me $500 for a new wardrobe and asked me not to save the money, put it in my retirement fund or spend it on secondhand clothes. Hahaha, she knows me too well. I'll keep the money until at least the end of summer anyway, since what's the point in buying clothes right now if I'm planning to lose more weight?
Speaking of which, I've just gotten back into my healthy habits. Working out is twice as hard as it was before I went on my school-is-more-important break and I keep getting horrible cravings for sugar. I'll weigh myself tomorrow for the first time in, uh, five weeks. I hope I didn't do too much damage (oh geez).
In other news, my best friends moved away, Anika's traveling in New York with her girlfriend taking camera pictures of art and sending them to me to make me jealous (successful), Masha's visiting relatives in Chicago and asking me what she needs to see at the Art Institute of Chicago and Katarina's been leaving me lots of text messages about going clubbing and barhopping (I didn't even know we were friends).
Oh, and I ended it with Matt (by text message, whoops). It's a long story with lots of drama (on my end, anyway) that I actually typed out but am now too embarrassed to post, mainly because it's obvious I was wasting time typing it out. Suffices to say, I will not be getting involved in any casual sex/open "relationship" again. The only good things that came out of it were kinky sex and the ironic “Why the hell won’t you be with me I just made you this mixtape” mixtape Anika made for me after it was over. All I want now is a summer romance.
EDIT: I changed my LJ layout to a Portland skyline! They have my absolute favorite building in the city drawn in (the pink tall one on the left side of Mt. Hood) that is actually pink, especially when the sun sets, they thankfully left out the famously postmodern and UGLY Michael Graves building and, cleverly, there's a rose on the ride side of the banner (Portland is the city of roses).
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Graduation Can't Come Soon Enough
Apr. 30th, 2008 | 12:05 am
music: uploading Eugene Onegin with Sergei Lemeshev!
I have never been as tired as I have these past couple of weeks. My room is more disgusting than it's ever been. Oh wow, I just noticed that I've been sleeping on a bra for a couple of days now.
When I get this exhausted (I've slept five total hours since Sunday morning) I become catatonic in my waking state. I even got hit by a car (seriously!) and it barely registered. I was jaywalking while completely zoned out and some lady had to hit her brakes hard to avoid killing me; I only noticed her when the front of the car slammed into my legs and I nearly crashed to the street. I turned to see her absolutely horrified expression and gave her a nonchalant little wave ("Hey lady, we're cool.") and kept walking. About five minutes later she pulled up to me and gave me a lecture about crossing at crosswalks. I feel bad because I really, truly scared the shit out of her.
Only two more days of class (perhaps for forever, unless I go to grad school). I can pull through this, even though I had a paper due Monday, a presentation today, a seminar presentation and research paper due tomorrow, another paper and a presentation write-up due Thursday, finals starting Monday and graduation the weekend following. Kill me now! I can't wait to get back to cooking and cleaning and exercising. I feel like a dirty hippie when I eat only vegetable sandwiches and blow crumbs to the floor :/
Masha, Anna and I went to a fancy Thai restaurant last Saturday. I wouldn't have gone (too much work!) except that we'd planned for this weeks ago as a celebration. That same night, Kevin threw a party at our house so Anna and I camped out at my new apartment for peace and homework, even though I really wanted to get trashed and hook up with a college boy for the last time :(
I wore this to the dinner:
The dress was $2.99 at a thrift store, I kid you not.
(And ignore the wild, uncombed hair. I haven't seen daylight in eight days.)
( And a couple more pictures. )
Just as a side note, how disappointing is to become disillusioned by a political hero? After reading about all the race-baiting or racism the Clintons and their aides have been involved in (and the article that basically says: "African American people left and right are saying the Clinton campaign are blowing racist dog whistles, but I don't hear anything so it must all be a mirage or mistake and man, those ~sensitive~ minorities!"), I can't say I support Hillary anymore. I'm so upset that Billary would resort to such tactics to win a presidency. What happened to your integrity, gf?
And because I've been living and breathing his words for a week now, Sherman Alexie writes:
( Are we supposed to kiss now? asked Seymour, and Salmon Boy shrugged his shoulders. )
When I get this exhausted (I've slept five total hours since Sunday morning) I become catatonic in my waking state. I even got hit by a car (seriously!) and it barely registered. I was jaywalking while completely zoned out and some lady had to hit her brakes hard to avoid killing me; I only noticed her when the front of the car slammed into my legs and I nearly crashed to the street. I turned to see her absolutely horrified expression and gave her a nonchalant little wave ("Hey lady, we're cool.") and kept walking. About five minutes later she pulled up to me and gave me a lecture about crossing at crosswalks. I feel bad because I really, truly scared the shit out of her.
Only two more days of class (perhaps for forever, unless I go to grad school). I can pull through this, even though I had a paper due Monday, a presentation today, a seminar presentation and research paper due tomorrow, another paper and a presentation write-up due Thursday, finals starting Monday and graduation the weekend following. Kill me now! I can't wait to get back to cooking and cleaning and exercising. I feel like a dirty hippie when I eat only vegetable sandwiches and blow crumbs to the floor :/
Masha, Anna and I went to a fancy Thai restaurant last Saturday. I wouldn't have gone (too much work!) except that we'd planned for this weeks ago as a celebration. That same night, Kevin threw a party at our house so Anna and I camped out at my new apartment for peace and homework, even though I really wanted to get trashed and hook up with a college boy for the last time :(
I wore this to the dinner:
The dress was $2.99 at a thrift store, I kid you not.
(And ignore the wild, uncombed hair. I haven't seen daylight in eight days.)
( And a couple more pictures. )
Just as a side note, how disappointing is to become disillusioned by a political hero? After reading about all the race-baiting or racism the Clintons and their aides have been involved in (and the article that basically says: "African American people left and right are saying the Clinton campaign are blowing racist dog whistles, but I don't hear anything so it must all be a mirage or mistake and man, those ~sensitive~ minorities!"), I can't say I support Hillary anymore. I'm so upset that Billary would resort to such tactics to win a presidency. What happened to your integrity, gf?
And because I've been living and breathing his words for a week now, Sherman Alexie writes:
( Are we supposed to kiss now? asked Seymour, and Salmon Boy shrugged his shoulders. )
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Week Seven Weigh-In
Apr. 23rd, 2008 | 04:04 am
Height: 5'1"
SW: 131.5
CW: 125.5
Highest: 155
Lowest: ~110
STG: 110
LTG: 100
Pounds Lost This Week: +1.5
I don't time for eating healthy (I hardly have time to eat) and I can't make time for exercise. I will get back to this after I graduate and can sleep more than (seriously) 14 hours a week.
SW: 131.5
CW: 125.5
Highest: 155
Lowest: ~110
STG: 110
LTG: 100
Pounds Lost This Week: +1.5
I don't time for eating healthy (I hardly have time to eat) and I can't make time for exercise. I will get back to this after I graduate and can sleep more than (seriously) 14 hours a week.